Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize