Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize