If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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