good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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