he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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