WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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