'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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