hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
