were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So vagazzling was a success
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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