HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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