Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
