no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
