no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
two words: eviction party
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
