You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
