I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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