Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
