Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
