when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
