I don't think brook has ever known best
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
