i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i already hear my dad disowning me
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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