I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
