The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
