somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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