you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
