He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
