omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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