Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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