we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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