You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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