That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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