Fine. I'll sleep in my office
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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