good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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