I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
