i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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