at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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