Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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