who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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