Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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