She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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