cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
