I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I am naked and annoyed.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
