u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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