Got a toothbrush?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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