i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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