dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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