I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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