Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
