Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
In other news, I just burned my penis
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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