Me too!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
