saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
