Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I need water and some morals
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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