listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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