Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
