May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
