I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
