Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
