There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
