Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
