she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
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