Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
