You can't motorboat a personality
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
