Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
