5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Let's paint friendship bongs
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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