what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
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