UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
