How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
