It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize