i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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