I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
